


it's never too late to come back to my side

by goldrush12



Series: it always leads to you in my hometown [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Broadway Star Rachel Berry, Coming Out, F/F, Inspired by Taylor Swift, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Quinn Fabray, Pining, Quinn Fabray-centric, kind of non canon compliant, they are adults and quinn is still in love with rachel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28106076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldrush12/pseuds/goldrush12
Summary: Quinn is back in Lima and no matter how hard she tries, she can't seem to escape Rachel.inspired by "dorothea" by taylor swift
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Series: it always leads to you in my hometown [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059053
Comments: 6
Kudos: 72





	it's never too late to come back to my side

Lima is a ghost town. Nothing has changed since they left high school, it seems, except the fact that everyone is long gone. Quinn is the only one to come back, so far; the rest of the Glee Club are in shiny cities with shiny new friends. 

Quinn isn’t bitter, though. She came back because she wanted to. She’s living in her own apartment now and it’s as nice as a Lima apartment could be. She practices law at a little firm and her coworkers are nice and nothing like the uptight Yale grads she once surrounded herself with. Once a week, she goes to Breadstix with her mom, and everything is simple and neat and cookie cutter and Quinn is almost ( _almost_ ) happy. 

It doesn’t help that everything in Lima screams Rachel’s name.

Even Quinn’s mom can’t stop talking about her. She convinces Quinn to watch the televised production of RENT on her tiny TV (Judy won’t let Quinn buy her a larger one, no matter how often Quinn offers). Rachel plays Maureen and Quinn has to stifle her laugh at the irony of it all. 

It could be a coincidence how much Judy talks about Rachel, or maybe she knows more about Quinn’s life than she lets on. At any rate, Quinn is 99% sure Judy was the one who stuffed a magazine with Rachel’s face on it into her bag last time they got dinner. 

Quinn stares at the cover of it now, leaning on her kitchen island. Rachel is all dark curls and dramatic lashes, a coy smile playing across her face. The words, “Queen of Broadway: What’s Rachel Berry’s next move?” are emblazoned across it, with smaller text reading “Plus, Berry’s Top 10 Skincare Picks.” _Same old Rachel_. 

Normally Quinn would cling to these little reminders that Rachel was real, that she existed in a place outside of Quinn’s daydreams. Now, they nag at her. She’s been dodging Rachel for too long. She called twice earlier this week and Quinn couldn’t bring herself to pick up.

Quinn stares down at Rachel’s face on the magazine cover. Her thumb hovers over Rachel’s contact, a simple “Rach” with a gold star emoji. Quinn sighs. _You can’t avoid her forever._ She clicks on the contact and holds the phone to her ear. 

Rachel picks up on the second ring, her voice already teasing. “Well, well, well, I was beginning to think I was going to have to call your mother.” 

“I was expecting something more like, ‘Oh, Quinn Fabray, I’ve missed you so, never leave me like that again.’” 

“I’m not letting you off that easily,” Rachel says. “Are you gonna tell me where you’ve been, or should I guess?”

Quinn raises an eyebrow, clutching the phone tighter. “I’d like to hear your guess.” 

“I think,” Rachel says matter-of-factly. “That you’ve found a new beau and you don’t have time for me anymore.” 

Quinn feels her heart sink slightly. “Not quite,” she says, clearing her throat. “Actually, I have to tell you something.” 

Rachel laughs, her voice warm through the phone. “You always give me so much shit for being the dramatic one and you lead with that? Come on, Q, how cliche.”

Quinn can’t help but smile, laughing nervously. “I’m serious, Rach. It’s important.” 

“Say no more,” Quinn hears a car door shut and the distinctive sound of Rachel’s heels clicking for a brief moment. “Okay, I’m sitting down. Shoot.” 

“Okay, well,” Quinn doesn’t know where to start. “I don’t have a new beau, and I’m not planning on getting one either, because, well,” _Deep breath, Quinn._ “Rachel, I’m gay.” 

There’s silence over the phone and Quinn’s stomach churns. Rachel normally fills the silence, but now it’s up to her it seems. “I mean, maybe it’s not a surprise to you, after _everything_ , but,” She winces at the way she’s rambling. “I came out to my mom recently, and Frannie, and it went well I think. I was nervous. I told Puck, too, last time I talked to him. And Santana and Brittany. So you were the only one really left to tell.”

Silence. “I’m happy for you,” Rachel finally says, but her tone is clipped. 

Quinn can feel the shift in the air. The anxiety in her stomach is giving way to the familiar feeling of frustration. “You’re happy for me? That’s it?” 

“What did you expect me to say, Quinn?”

“I don’t know, maybe something about how no one in New York understands you and you’ve been avoiding your feelings for me for years now.” 

“You’re projecting,” Rachel says.

Quinn is seething. It wasn’t fair, she knows, to bring it up. They’ve never talked about what happened between them, not when they used to make out on the couch under the bleachers during Quinn’s skank phase, even though Rachel protested the couch was too dirty. They don’t talk about leaving prom early, without their dates in tow, to get drunk in the parking lot. They don’t talk about Quinn’s visits to New York and how Kurt and Santana would look the other way when they found them cuddling in Rachel’s bed. They don’t talk about the hundreds of phone calls before this one, where they stayed up late into the night, talking about anything under the sun. Logically, Quinn understands that maybe a phone call wasn’t the time or place to bring up all of those emotions. 

But Rachel isn’t being fair either. Quinn was never good at being the bigger person. 

“Do you plan on putting on a show for your entire life?” Quinn demands. “Because that will tear you apart, Rachel. It was tearing me apart too. I kept trying to ignore these feelings and fill the void with man after man and it never worked. Never.” 

If Rachel hears the stutter in her voice, she doesn’t acknowledge it. Quinn trudges on. “And you know what? You’ve always made such a big deal about being exactly who you are, but now it just seems like you’re scared. Was it all just words to you, Rachel? Because the girl I fell in love with doesn’t act like this.” 

“Quinn, I don’t know why you’re telling me all of this. I can’t…” Rachel’s voice trails off. “I can’t give everything up for someone I see maybe once a year.” 

“I’m not asking you to do anything,” Quinn fires back. She’s grateful Rachel can’t see the way her cheeks flush. “I just wanted you to know.” A pause. “In case it changes anything.” 

“It doesn’t.” 

Quinn bites her lip as silence falls between them. The ground feels like it might give out underneath her. She wonders if Rachel can hear her breathing through the phone. “I guess that’s that then.” 

“Quinn, I’m…” Rachel sounds exhausted, Quinn realizes. She wonders absently what time she woke up this morning. She supposes it’s not her place to ask. “I’m sorry.” 

That was the last thing Quinn expected to hear. All at once, tears sting her eyes, and she just wishes Rachel were here now, if only so Quinn could shake her and stare into her soul and make sure the real Rachel Berry was still there, the one without the glitz and the glam, the one who Quinn couldn’t help but fall for over and over. 

“Will you be home for the holidays?” she asks, and god, she sounds so fucking stupid, asking her this after being rejected so blatantly. But she needs to know, needs to know if she can see her even one more time in this godforsaken town that has already taken so much from her.

Rachel sniffles and Quinn feels some sick validation at the fact that she’s not the only one crying. “My dads would kill me if I wasn’t in town for at least a few days,” Rachel says. “So yes, Quinn, I’ll be there.”

“Cool,” Quinn cringes as the word leaves her mouth. She hesitates. “I’m always here, you know. If you ever get tired of it all.” 

Pause. “I know, Quinn.” 

The line goes dead and Quinn lets out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. She should be furious, she knows. And yet, despite everything, she’s never had the heart to stay mad at Rachel Berry, no matter how many times she broke her heart.

**Author's Note:**

> hello all, this is my first fanfic ever and i just wrote it for fun because evermore is giving me major faberry vibes. actually, all of taylor swift's music gives me faberry vibes. 
> 
> obviously, glee characters belong to ryan murphy + creators and dorothea belongs to the one, the only, taylor swift <3 
> 
> let me know what you think!


End file.
